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Telling The Family 
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We aren't going to try to kid you here. Being gay or lesbian, you already 
know that reactions will vary widely when you decide to tell others of your 
wedding plans. Announcing nuptials can either bring out the best or the worst 
in people. If you're doing your wedding privately, you will probably keep it 
to yourself, or tell just a close-knit circle of carefully selected friends or 
family. Don't agonise over this too much. If you're totally out and could care 
less what any prejudicial people think, our hats are off to you. But please, 
be sure your 'intended' feels the same way before you take out an 
Engagement Announcement in your local newspaper! 

The bottom line about your wedding is that it is YOUR wedding, together, 
not anyone else's. 
The ceremony, in whatever form it takes, is a meaningful and often, 
spiritual event. Never let anyone stand between the two of you and 
your intentions. The main point of all of this is, when you decide to tell 
family and friends, don't expect everyone to understand. If there isn't 
any way to educate them, then leave it alone. Don't let it spoil your 
memories of this special occasion. 

With that in mind, here are some tips for announcing your engagement: 

Start with those you care about the most. The people in your life who have 
been the most supportive to the two of you. (By the way, these particular 
friends and family will probably be the ones you will want to 'Stand Up' for 
you at the ceremony.) 
If you don't feel like explaining...don't! (But remember, this is your chance 
to educate people about the importance of benefits, rights, and equality in 
a non-aggressive and personal way.)